The Scrabble Game
by Linda Larsen, CSP
© Copyright 2000

How do you want to live your life? Exactly what qualities or values do you want to embody, day after day after day? What is the absolute most important thing to you in your life? Precisely how do you want to make a difference in the lives of other human beings during your lifetime? Do you know, specifically - clearly?

If you have to stop and spend any more than 10 seconds trying to collect these answers from the recesses of your mind, you may have a problem later on down the road.

In a recent HBO movie entitled, Wit, Dr. Vivian Bearing (played brilliantly by Emma Thompson) is dying of cancer. Dr. Bearing had lived her life as a highly intelligent literary scholar, much respected by her peers, not much liked by her students. She was described as rather acerbic, cold and unfeeling. It was easy for her to justify her actions throughout her life - she was smarter than "they" were. They, of course, were the dull, somewhat insipid individuals who didn't get it.

In was extremely ironic how her entire approach toward people and life - her rather distant, detached, unemotional position - seemed to be mirrored in how the physicians and technicians treated her during her illness. And she saw it. She looked directly in the mirror and she understood the irony.

The tragedy was that, by that time, it was really too late for her to make any sort of amends. She even tried to remain detached during the treatment of her illness, but gradually her own humanity and vulnerability demanded her full attention.

What she saw, I believe, was what we will all see during those last hours of our lives. We will have the opportunity to see, in full 3-Dimensional Technicolor, Dolby Surround Sound, whether or not we lived our lives with compassion and kindness and in any kind of alignment with our values. And I truly believe that if we did not live our lives by those values - those final hours will be more than unbearable. They will be torturous beyond anything we can possibly conceive.

Let's not do that. Let us NOT wait until we have no choices. Let's not lie in the pain of regrets and an unspeakable guilt wishing we could do it over again. Wishing that we had let go of that anger with so and so. Or that we had spent more time just sitting with our grandmother or had withheld our frustration when someone made a simple mistake.

My son, clearly one of the greatest gifts I have ever been given in my lifetime, broke his collarbone last Sunday. First of all, thank you God, that it was only his collarbone and nothing more serious. Anyway, he stayed with us at our house while he was in the early stages of recovery.

After about four days he was well enough that he could sit up and was bored enough that he asked if I would play Scrabble with him. When he was little I used to play a lot with him, but we hadn't played for years. And even though I had a million things to do, I joined him in a game.

When he asked to play a second game, I thought of all those things that I "should" be doing and hesitated. And in that hesitation, I remember thinking, "Linda, this is one of those moments. If he got hit by a car tomorrow, how would you feel that you did not spend this one hour playing Scrabble with him? Or if you were dying, would you be thinking, 'Oh, I'm so glad I made business phone calls that afternoon instead of playing a game with Miles?'"

We have THE greatest gift life has to offer. We have now. Right this very minute - and the one after that and the one after that. And in each one of these now moments we have the power to choose love, compassion and generosity of spirit.

I am inviting you to make a conscious choice to live each moment such that, on your deathbed, you will have no regrets. Is that possible? Probably not. But does that mean that you just abandon the notion and let caprice and whimsy toss you hither and yon? Why not set this intention and then, just like a compass aligned with magnetic north, allow it to keep pulling you back on course when you slip off?

What does it take to do this? Consciousness, I believe. First of all, get crystal clear about what values ARE the absolute most important ones in your life. And then ask yourself to wake up, get off autopilot, and pay attention. Demand of yourself that you live in integrity with those values and strive never to compromise.

Have a great week. Oh - and why not invite someone over for a game of Scrabble?

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Tag line: Linda Larsen, CSP, helps individuals think strategically, communicate effectively, and celebrate success. She is an international keynote speaker, trial consultant and author of the book, True Power, and the best selling audio program, 12 Secrets to High Self-Esteem. She can be reached at www.lindalarsen.com or 941-927-4700.

 

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