The Truth Will Set You Free
by Linda Larsen, CSP
© Copyright 2003

Have you ever had people give you a specific criticism (more than a couple of times) and you just couldn’t figure out what they were talking about? In fact, you would have sworn that what they were saying was absolutely not true!

While it could be any one of a thousand complaints, see if any of the following sound familiar:

“You’re too judgmental.”
“You’re so critical.”
“You don’t seem to care...”
“What’s with this bad attitude?”
“You never listen.”
“You’re so controlling.”
“You don’t seem concerned about anyone else but yourself.”
“You’re too rigid.”
“You seem to have a chip on your shoulder.”
“Why are you so defensive?”

I’d like to help you get to the bottom of this. Next time it happens, take a deep breath and say the following words, “What am I doing or saying that leads you to believe I am _________?”

Then – give the other person PLENTY of room to be honest with you. If they say, “I don’t know, you just are” – don’t let that be the end of the conversation. Instead say, “Please help me understand. I am very interested in correcting this situation and would like to know exactly what it is that I am doing or saying that leads you to believe that.” If they still cannot pinpoint the exact behavior, then here’s your next response: “OK, then would you be kind enough to point it out to me the next time it happens?”

I’m sure you’ve already figure it out: this is really tough to do. It takes a person who is extremely willing to be shown the reality of how they are coming across to others. One who is willing to become aware, to learn, and to grow. And like you have probably heard before – “The truth will set you free…but first it may tick you off.”

Be prepared.

Word count: 310

Tag line: Linda Larsen, CSP, helps individuals think strategically, communicate effectively, and celebrate success. She is an international keynote speaker, trial consultant and author of the book, True Power, and the best selling audio program, 12 Secrets to High Self-Esteem. She can be reached at www.lindalarsen.com or 941-927-4700.

 

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