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Mirror, Mirror on the Wall
by Linda Larsen, CSP
© Copyright 2000
Yes, we've heard all the platitudes:
"To earn more, you must learn more."
"Grow or die."
"Commit to Lifelong Learning."
What I'd like to offer you is another really practical way to put this idea to work for you. Please be aware that I am specifically referring to Personal Improvement, not simply a better way to file your papers or fertilize your plants. I am talking about a way to become the very best YOU that you can be. Here's a 4-step process that can help:
Set an intention. In the morning, when you first wake up, consciously decide to learn at least one thing about yourself that day. Simply declare, "Today, I am willing to learn. I am aware and paying attention."
Trust that you will be shown. You will be amazed what will be revealed to you when you are looking for it.
Review your learning. In the evening, think back over the day. Take FULL responsibility for what you have observed.
Set a new intention. Make a new declaration about how you want to start behaving in your life relative to that issue.
Here's one of my recent experiences:
While working in Reno recently, I had the good fortune to spend 2 extra days with my dearest and best friend, Janice. While at lunch one day she told me that she had a book idea in the works but couldn't seem to get pen to paper. Of course, I jumped in and told her every good piece of advice that I had ever heard about writing a book. I suggested that, if she would like, I could be her coach. She could commit to writing a few pages per week, and then email them to me for accountability and feedback.
It was in that moment that I saw this flicker of uncertainty dart across her face. Because I have now trained myself to observe, learn and grow from the feedback the world gives me - I knew instantly where that look came from.
There were past times in our friendship when she would tell me that she felt I was being critical with her. I remember thinking, "Gosh no, Janice. I'm just offering you my ideas or my thoughts or trying to help. You're just being too sensitive. Blah, blah, blah."
And when I would get similar "you're too critical" feedback from other people in my life, I would always come up with some reason why they were just unwilling to hear what they needed to hear. Too defensive, too rigid, too paranoid.
But after a while that kind of reasoning doesn't hold up. All the communication experts tell us this: "The meaning of any piece of communication lies only in what the other person takes it to mean - regardless of the sender's intention. If Janice - or anyone for that matter - felt I was being critical, then I needed to stop and address that issue. I needed to take an honest look at what I was doing or saying that gave that impression.
So that's exactly what I did with her at lunch. I told her that I realized why she might be reluctant to allow me to be a part of her writing process. I apologized sincerely for all the times I was critical with her in the past. I asked her to please immediately tell me if she ever felt I was doing it again.
It was an important moment in our friendship and most certainly in my commitment to improve myself.
The world is simply holding up a mirror to all of us, continually offering us the opportunity to observe, learn and grow in better and better ways. Are you willing to see that which is begging to be seen?
You cannot move forward unless you are.
Word count: 667
Tag line: Linda Larsen, CSP, helps individuals think strategically, communicate effectively, and celebrate success. She is an international keynote speaker, trial consultant and author of the book, True Power, and the best selling audio program, 12 Secrets to High Self-Esteem. She can be reached at www.lindalarsen.com or 941-927-4700.
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