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Be The Kind of Person...
by Linda Larsen
© Copyright 2000
I was new and inexperienced. I wanted to be a "working" actor and accordingly, was in graduate school studying professional actor training. One day a visiting "pro" said he was going to give us the number one most important piece of advice that we would probably ever hear. He said that we could make some really great things happen in our career if we would remember to "be the kind of person that other people LOVE to work with." He said if we mastered that one thing, it would insure that we'd get a lot of work. We needed talent and good training of course, but we didn't need to be the most talented or the best trained. We just needed to be the kind of person that other people loved to work with. He said that if we became known as someone who is difficult - we could ultimately kiss our careers good-bye.
For whatever reason, that piece of advice has remained with me in a major way. It has guided me time and time again in my life. Believe me, there have been countless times when I wanted to scream at some idiot who didn't know what he was doing, or tell a coworker what she SHOULD be doing, or get demanding, or distant, or angry, or snippy. And it was in those times that I trained myself to do the following: 1) stop, 2) take a breath, and 3) think to myself, "how would someone, with whom I LOVE working, handle this situation?" Then, when I see the answer - I know exactly what to do - and how to do it.
OK, before you say something like, "But that's just not me. I wouldn't respond like that," let me propose the following: You are "not like that" because you have decided that you are not like that. You have declared it to be so and, by gosh, that's just the way it is. The truth is that you do have the choice to behave exactly as you choose to behave. You do. And when you repeatedly assert THAT FACT to yourself IT will become true for you.
Here's your job:
1. Think of someone with whom YOU love to work.
2. Write down all the qualities he or she embodies that elicit that positive response from you (e.g., good listener, positive, helpful, energetic, smiles when you approach, etc.)
3. Visualize how YOU would look and sound embodying those qualities. (Please, really do this step. It's important!)
4. Post the list of those qualities in several places where you can see it during the day. And here's the biggy...
5. For one solid workday simply embody those qualities. That's all. For eight or nine hours just be the kind of person that people love to work with.
I believe that what you will see is a positive difference in how other people treat you. I contend that you'll like the results you get so much that you will try it again and again. Remember, we teach other people how to treat us. And the key to learning anything, of course, is repetition and consistency. The more you do it, the better you will become at it and pretty soon, you will create a new habitual way of being.
Please know this. I am not talking about being overly sweet or not standing up for yourself when you need something. I'm not referring to compromising your core values or presenting a phony facade. I'm simply talking about embodying those universal qualities that you admire and respect in others.
And while we're at it why not take this one step higher? You could exponentially increase the effectiveness of this idea if you carried it over into your personal life. Why not become the kind of person that people simply love to BE with? Don't stop with eight working hours; take it to a full 24 hour period! Do this at home also with your spouse and children. You'll be amazed at what can happen.
By the way, even if absolutely no one noticed what you were doing, or responded to you any differently - how do you think you would feel at the end of the day having actually LIVED those great qualities?
You really can make great things happen. The choice is yours.
Word count: 725
Tag line: Linda Larsen helps individuals think strategically, communicate effectively, and celebrate success. She is an international keynote speaker, trial consultant and author of the book, True Power, and the best selling audio program, 12 Secrets to High Self-Esteem. She can be reached at www.lindalarsen.com or 941-927-4700.
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