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I'm Not Answering - And That's My Final Answer
by Linda Larsen, CSP
© Copyright 2000

Have you ever had this happen to you?

Someone asks you a question. You think, "Gosh. I don't know how to answer that. It's kind of personal. I shouldn't have to answer that. But if I don't, won't that be rude? Will they think I'm trying to hide something?"

So you give an answer. Maybe it's the truth or maybe not. It doesn't really matter. The point is you answer their question when you would have preferred not to.

I have a HUGE news flash for you (or at least it was for me). You do not need to answer! No! You don't! And while NOT answering - you can remain calm in the face of this kind of dilemma. You can clearly state something like, "I'd prefer not to answer that question."

Oh, I can hear you right now, "I couldn't say THAT!!!" Well then, figure out a couple of stock phrases that you could say. Memorize them and have them ready when you need them. Let me give you a great example.

I was standing in a group of people with my friend Rick once when he was asked a very personal question about a mutual friend. I was rather stunned at the question and very interested in how Rick would respond. Without a moment's hesitation he replied, "Why don't you ask her?" He then turned to me and asked me a question about an upcoming fund raising event.

Ooooooh. That was goooooood.

And just the other day, my friend Linda K. had the same experience. She was out with a man friend of hers when a woman acquaintance came up to them and asked her, "Well, are you two a couple now?" Linda replied, "Oh we're a couple all right. A couple of what, I'm not quite sure!"

Perfect.

She told me that when something like that happens to her she simply uses humor and slips right past the issue. I asked her what she would have done if the woman asked her again. She said, "I would have given her the same answer again! And," she said, "I would have laughed and kept it light."

Here's the bottom line. Whatever method you choose to "not answer" it is your perfect right to opt out! It takes confidence, yes, but it truly is your prerogative.

I know what my stock response will be the next time someone asks me a question I don't want to answer. I'll laugh, throw back my head and reply, "I'm not answering. And that's my final answer!"

Word count: 425

Tag line: Linda Larsen, CSP, helps individuals think strategically, communicate effectively, and celebrate success. She is an international keynote speaker, trial consultant and author of the book, True Power, and the best selling audio program, 12 Secrets to High Self-Esteem. She can be reached at www.lindalarsen.com or 941-927-4700.

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