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How to Boost Your Self-esteem
by Linda Larsen, CSP
© Copyright 2000

If you had to pick three words to describe yourself, what would they be? Would they be positive or negative words? Would the words describe your appearance or your personality? Would you be intimidated to say your three words out loud?

While the questions above may be hypothetical, your answers are not, because the image you hold of yourself has a tremendous impact upon the quality of your life. Your self-image, however limited or expansive it may be, is directly related to your self-esteem and can actually become your reality. If you believe you are undeserving or incapable of achieving true happiness and success, then that belief produces certain uncomfortable emotions, which in turn influences your behaviors. Others then respond to you based primarily on those behaviors.

The fact is that you are a person with vast, unlimited potential, but until you believe that to be the truth, you will continue to deny yourself free access to your own wisdom and magnificence. Following is a list of seven ways to help you strengthen and build your self-esteem in order to create the outcomes you desire.

1. Trust
Until you learn to trust yourself and your good judgment, you'll remain hesitant and doubtful. This self-doubt can cause your self-esteem to plummet. Remember that the same creative intelligence that knows how to beat your heart, heal a cut and register millions of bits of stimulus every second is the same intelligence that can guide your daily thoughts and actions. Trust that innate creative wisdom and it will serve you most faithfully.

2. Tune in
We have thousands of negative thoughts every day. How many of those thoughts are about ourselves, we can only guess. When you only focus on negative attributes, you start forgetting all the gifts you have to offer. Become aware of your thinking patterns. When you notice that your thinking has become negative, immediately shift your focus to your positive qualities, your successes and your victories. When you focus on your many attributes and accomplishments, you can't help but feel good about yourself.

3. Let go
Release any guilt you're harboring and forgive yourself for past indiscretions. Remember that you were doing the absolute best you could at the time. Make amends if you need to and apologize if you feel it's appropriate. The longer you hold on to guilt or blame, the lower your self-esteem becomes. Clean things up and then move on.

4. Positively define yourself
The two most powerful words in the English language are "I am," because the description you put behind those words is what you tend to become. Use that awareness to manifest exactly the kind of qualities you want to exhibit. Make a list of 100 positive words that describe you when you are living at your finest and best, such as "loving," "kind," "healthy," "courageous," "considerate," etc. Read the list morning and night. Post individual affirmations where you can see them and say them out loud with power and emotion.

5. Build your skills
While you are a worthwhile, important and valuable individual exactly as you are, you can still maximize your potential by learning new skills. When you commit to lifelong learning, you open your mind to new possibilities and expand your brain-power. Read or listen to motivational/instructional tapes an hour per day. Learn to speak a foreign language, construct a birdhouse, or even tap dance - it's totally up to you. Whatever you chose to learn, do it strictly for you, not to impress anyone else.

6. Get outside yourself
Take the focus off yourself and how you are doing by turning your attention to others. Volunteer your time for a worthwhile project, practice random acts of kindness, or help someone in need. Acknowledge others for their accomplishments and extend your love and appreciation freely and unabashedly. The feeling you'll get from helping others is a gift not only to them, but to yourself as well.

7. Take care of yourself
Treat yourself lovingly and with respect. Honor your needs by learning how to ask for what you want assertively. Make conscious choices to eat healthy foods, exercise regularly and laugh a lot. Spend quality time with loved ones and practice whatever spiritual disciplines are right for you. If we expect others to respect us, then we must set the example of how we want to be treated by taking excellent care of ourselves in all domains: emotionally, physically, socially and physically.

It's true that your level of self-esteem will fluctuate from time to time. During those times of low self-esteem, it's important to resist the temptation to beat yourself up. Simply observe which actions move you forward and which move you backward. Then make a clear, conscious choice to get back on the forward path. The bottom line is that the power to boost your self esteem lives within you every moment of the day. The above practices will help you directly access that power.

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Tag line: Linda Larsen, CSP, helps individuals think strategically, communicate effectively, and celebrate success. She is an international keynote speaker, trial consultant and author of the book, True Power, and the best selling audio program, 12 Secrets to High Self-Esteem. She can be reached at www.lindalarsen.com or 941-927-4700.

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