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The Truth, The Whole Truth and Nothing But The Truth
by Linda Larsen, CSP
© Copyright 2003
I believe that most people are truthful, most of the time. I assume, as I am sure you do, that when someone tells you something, you can trust that they are telling you the truth. It would be way too much work to assume otherwise. If you had to stop and analyze the veracity of every technician, salesperson, friend, relative, boss and co-worker each time they spoke to you, you’d be exhausted by nine a.m.!
Accordingly, I was somewhat taken aback by the comment of a salesman this past week.
I was supposed to pick up a specially designed area rug at a local carpet store on Monday. When I called to see if it was ready, the salesman said, "I’m not going to lie to you. It’s not done."
I was caught off guard. I hesitated a moment and then I said, "OK. How much longer will it be?"
He stammered, tripped over a few words and then replied, "Well, I’m not going to lie to you. He hasn’t actually started it yet."
I may be slow, but after the second time, I started paying attention. Why was this man continually saying he wasn’t going to lie to me? I ASSUMED he wasn’t going to lie to me – but his repeated comments to that effect left me confused and doubtful. I then began to wonder if he had lied to me in the past, if he was lying to me now, or when he might start lying to me in the future.
As I later analyzed the situation, I came to a logical conclusion. Someone who, as a rule, tells the truth in life, and is telling you the truth in a certain situation, doesn’t have to preface any statement with, "I’m not going to lie to you." It doesn’t OCCUR to them to lie to you, so it doesn’t occur to them to tell you that they are NOT going to lie to you.
Here’s all we need to remember: 1) Tell the truth. 2) Don’t use those words!
In fact, here are a few other related comments that you also would be well served to avoid: They are:
1. "I’ll be perfectly honest with you…"
2. "To be completely honest…"
3. "Can I be frank with you?"
Right.
If someone said "Can I be frank with you?" I’m afraid I’d be tempted to reply, "No. Please. Not Frank. Be George, or Fred or Sigmund - but not Frank." Or I could be real clever and say something like, "What? Are you crazy? Of course you can’t be frank with me! I want lies, do you hear? Blatant, elaborate, convoluted LIES!"
Well, it would get their attention, anyway.
Here’s the bottom line: When you make a habit of telling the truth and avoid using damaging statements like the ones above, you enhance your credibility, build trust and strengthen relationships.
Oh, and you know I wouldn’t lie to you about this.
Word count: 492
Tag line: Linda Larsen, CSP, helps individuals think strategically, communicate effectively, and celebrate success. She is an international keynote speaker, trial consultant and author of the book, True Power, and the best selling audio program, 12 Secrets to High Self-Esteem. She can be reached at www.lindalarsen.com or 941-927-4700.
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