How to Turn a Difficult, Idiot Patient Into Your Greatest Raving Fan

Linda Shoots Screams at Dentist

“Stand here, bite down on the mouth piece and take a step forward,” the dental assistant said as she put me in the zippy 3D panoramic x-ray machine.  It was clear she wasn’t thrilled to be doing this since I was being seen on an emergency basis right at closing time and this was making her stay late.  I did as she asked.

“No, step forward,” she repeated with a nonverbal tone that said, “Didn’t you hear what I said?”

Since stepping forward was now throwing off my balance, I took only a small step. Yes, I was holding onto the little handles in the machine, but I had now begun to lean backwards with each step forward.  I kept thinking, “This can’t be right.”

“No. I said step forward. You’re doing this! I want you to do this!” she impatiently barked. She proceeded to demonstrate with her feet. I could feel my blood pressure starting to elevate.

Since I had my mouth locked in on the mouthpiece and couldn’t possibly see what she was doing with her feet, I released my bite, stepped back from the machine and said, “I cannot see what you are trying to show me.”

“You don’t need to SEE what I’m doing. I’m saying step forward and you’re taking these little tiny steps!”

Really? She is snapping at me like I’m some recalcitrant child? Seriously? I grabbed the handles, repositioned my mouth and took a huge step forward.  This forced me to lean way back, totally off balance, and remain there while she completed her task. 

When we were finished, I didn’t even try to hide my annoyance.  I said to her, “If a patient doesn’t understand your instructions, maybe you need to figure out where the breakdown is occurring.”

“I told you to step forward and you didn’t do it. What’s not to understand.”

And that’s when my brain scrambled.

“If you would let me tell you what my problem was with your instructions, you might not frustrate the next patient the way you have totally frustrated me.”

She promptly turned on her heel and walked away. Walked. Away.

Okay. Breathing.  I’m now breathing.  As a motivational speaker who talks a lot about the power of effective communication I do know that, in this moment, I need to take no action – other than to simply breathe. Just breathe and calm down.

And I begin writing this blog post in my mind.

It starts with this question: Should you, as a person in your dental office practice, allow yourself the luxury of getting annoyed with a patient who isn’t doing what you want them to do?  A patient who is clearly an idiot, who can’t understand the simplest of instructions and who has the audacity to actually get annoyed with you?

And the answer is: Never. Ever. Ever.

Here are the reasons why:

  • YOU are familiar with everything in your office – they are familiar with nothing. This is all new to them.
  • Many people get very anxious when visiting your office. They are on high alert. They are in a fight or flight mode and view everything they see, hear, taste, smell or touch as a potential danger.  Oh, and that includes you.
  • It is not their job to be nice, friendly, happy and kind to YOU!
  • They are looking for ANY reason to walk out of your office and never come back. Don’t give them one.
  • And my number one customer/patient service rule: The one putting the money on the table, wins.

First let me be clear. I’m not talking about putting up with physical or verbal abuse. If someone is in any way threatening you, here’s your response,

“Mr. Smith I can see how upset you are and I want to fix this situation immediately. Let me bring in my (office manager, co-worker, dentist, someone) to help us.”

What I am talking about are those idiots (like me, apparently) who simply do not understand the directions. The clowns who ask you the same question three times. The bozos who are late and don’t even apologize.  The ones who turn their head to the left when you say turn it to the right. The jokers who actually expect to keep texting while you are cleaning their teeth. The list goes on and on. 

I must reiterate that visiting a dentist for many people can be a scary, nerve-racking, unhappy experience.  And when a person is under high stress, they might not process information very quickly. They may use coping strategies that are not the most effective.  They may act or react in incongruent ways. But they are your patients. They are the ones putting the money on the table. They deserve the very best that you can give them. And I contend that your “very best” is even better than you think.

Here are a few strategies that you can employ to help you deal with someone…well, like me.

1. Explain everything as you go along.

  • “This may taste a little funny, but it will dissipate very quickly.”
  • “You’re going to hear a beep and that will signal…”
  • “We are going to remove your temporary now and you will feel…”

2. When you perceive someone isn’t understanding…

“I’m so sorry. I must not be explaining this well. Let me rephrase my instructions.” (I wouldn’t be writing this post if that woman in my dentist’s office had said these words.)

3. Set a positive, helpful tone as early as possible.

 “Mrs. Thompson, I can see you are apprehensive about this. Please know that my job is to make you as comfortable and happy as possible. I’m going to explain everything as we go along, answer any questions you may have and make certain you are doing great. Please let me know if there’s anything you need as we proceed.

4. Smile a lot. Kindly and sincerely. You have no idea how comforting it is when you are anxious to see warm, happy, smiling faces.

I’m not merely talking about being nice and giving good service. That’s basic. I’m talking about taking your service to the highest level possible. I’m talking about tuning in to each patient as if there is NO ONE else in the building. As if their comfort and well-being are what you are totally living for in that moment. Read their non-verbal behavior and respond accordingly. Be kind. Be patient. Take nothing personally. 

And finally, assume this. Assume that the person you are serving right now is going to go home and write a blog post about you that will be read by thousands of people.  Or maybe they’ll just post a comment on FaceBook – to their 2,133 friends. What do you want them to write about you?  Do you want them sharing an experience like the one I had? One that ends with, “Run! Run for your life!” Or would you prefer something like this rave review?

“Wow! The entire staff at Dr. __________’s office is AMAZING! Not just great – but exceptionally great! Especially __________! She made me feel like I was the most important patient they had all day! It seemed like her main concern was that I be happy and comfortable. She was incredibly kind and patient and went out of her way to make certain I understood everything that was happening.  I can now honestly say I LOVE going to the dentist! If you are looking for an AMAZINGLY positive and enjoyable experience at the dentist – this is the place!”

And if you’d like the rave – then here’s the big question to ask yourself in every given patient interaction:  

IS WHAT I AM ABOUT TO DO OR SAY – AND HOW I AM ABOUT TO DO OR SAY IT – GOING TO GET ME THIS RAVE REVIEW?

A sure-fire way to stay on track to creating the results you want.

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A Smiling Linda Larsen

About Author Linda Larsen, CSP, CPAE

Linda Larsen, CSP, CPAE is a Hall of Fame Speaker, former professional actress, best-selling author and serious lover of doggies. Hailed as fall-out-of-your-seat funnny with seriously life-changing content, speaks at conferences and meetings around the world, helping people bring the very best version of themselves to life every day! To talk to Linda about how she can contribute to the success of your next event, call 941-927-4700. Or go to Book Linda Now!

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