Funny Motivational Speaker Linda Larsen presents...

Linda's Positively Speaking Blog

Rants & Raves by Funny Motivational Speaker Linda Larsen

Jan
2019

But I Don't WANT to Rub Elbows

By Linda Larsen - Wednesday, January 30, 2019
Featured Image

I got the opportunity recently to practice a technique that is very effective in dealing with, as I have laughingly called them, "People who don't behave."

First of all, here are the 4 things to do before you address the problem:

  1. Let go of the idea that the other person is WRONG for doing what he did. He did it. It's done. Hold, instead, the interpretation that although his actions don't work for you, they made perfect sense to him.
  2. Keep your voice level and calm.
  3. Maintain an open, relaxed face.
  4. Use as few words as possible. Think "short, simple and direct."

Picture the scene: We are boarding the plane. I sit on an aisle seat next to a man who is already seated in the center seat. His wife was on the other side of him, next to the window. I place my bag under the seat in front of me, buckle my seat belt and settle in for the flight. I notice that his elbow is firmly planted on the armrest between our seats so I gently slip my elbow behind his and claim the back section of the armrest.

It is at this point that he shifts his weight in his seat and makes certain that his elbow presses harder against mine. I'm talking quite hard. His nonverbal comment screamed, "Oh no you don't! I had this armrest first and you're not getting it!"

The passive part of me wanted to quickly remove my arm and then silently fume for the next hour. The aggressive part of me wanted to dig my elbow back into his arm and show him that he couldn't bully me, by gosh! Instead the assertive part of me stepped up to the plate and handled it GREAT! Incorporating all 4 of the above elements, I said, "I tell you what. I'll take the back half of the armrest and you take the front. Does that work for you?"

I sounded so even, unflappable and straightforward that I kind of stunned myself. Whatever the outcome I knew in that moment that I handled the situation effectively. And then, after a brief hesitation, he mumbled, "Yeah, I guess that's OK." Then he relaxed his arm and let me have half the space.

You gotta love it.

Practice this technique - a lot. In low-risk situations. With your dog, your cat, your unborn child. You'll get good at it. You'll develop a really good habit. And you'll be able to rub elbows with the best of them!

 

Linda Larsen, Speaker Hall of FameĀ® Keynote speaker, author and former professional comedic actress, brings entertaining, content-rich, hilarious and riveting presentations to conferences world-wide. She is passionate about helping people realize their fullest potential in every area of their lives and live with what she calls, "Honker Happiness." Best-selling author of 12 Secrets to High Self-Esteem audio program, 5 video programs and the critically acclaimed book, True Power. She can be reached at http://www.lindalarsen.com and 941-927-4700


About the Author

Linda Larsen, CSP, CPAE is a Hall of Fame Speaker, professional actress, best-selling author and serious lover of doggies. Linda speaks at conferences and meetings around the world, helping people bring the very best version of themselves to life every day! To talk to Linda about how she can contribute to the success of your next event, call 941-927-4700. Or go to Book Linda Now!



Like this blog? Share it!



Recent Posts

Archive

Categories

Tag Cloud

iPhone4S zig ziglar motivational speaker Linda Larsen speak up difficult patients back relief happy customers selling happiness feeling good personal responsibility aging achievements Noah Racey's Pulse learning how to become a motivational speaker controlling your emotional state joy listening laughter expectations raising happy children criticism effective communication costumes negative thinking motivational speaker on communication Asolo State Theater Conrad Hall Gary Marachek truth in politics personality types facebook activity bucket list how to have high self-esteem good night's sleep bad drivers customer service secrets divorce statistics changing behaviors gripers bipolar disorder what you name the thing gender communication Kelly Swanson Politifact reframing power of a smile Hillary Clinton self-image gratitude dental practice how to deal with negative people motivational speaker patient service motivational speaker Brad Montgomery how to happy anxiety overcoming adversity magic act communication skills listening skills trust in relationships Donald Trump linda larsen change acting attitude time management flying eyebrows goal achievement lying in politics nonverbal communication public speaking horror stories positive attitude coping with anxiety funny motivational speaker Broadway stonewalling the business of motivational speaker PhotoShop how to strengthen relationships mattress recommendation funny motivational speaker Linda Larsen dental practice strategies personal achievement healthcare passion proactive people Shakespeare, thank-you notes personal growth truth handling fear unhappy employees cheerleading American Idol vision boards changing habits self talk losing weight election 2016 airline pilots gift ideas mental illness customer service complainers latex mattress review actors fact checking successful dental practices National Car Rental relationship building Tim Richardson success self confidence remodel stress goal setting holiday stress dr. john gottman Dr. Phil bottom line improvement funny motivational speakers multi-tasking liking raving fans sleep beauty encouragement achieving success confidence managing stress Lin-Manuel Miranda husbands who don't listen finding humor Meryl Runion motivational speaker on customer service stress management communication happiness political anxiety getting to yes humor attitudes parenting tension compassion understanding chronic back pain Lenscrafters building rapport mans search for meaning stressful elections depression contempt defensiveness personal development clinical depression building character Delta motivational speaker success marriage how to get what you want brain chemistry Viktor Frankl habits appreciation difficult people positive perspective funny video advertising happiness at work customer service training Dr. Brene Brown, The Wholehearted Parenting Manifesto best bed for bad back panic attacks southern accent whiners motivation Kay Frances fear of trump presidency Changing perspectives communication model speaking nightmares how to listen humorous motivational speaker conflict management friendships Hamilton high self-esteem motivational speakers marshmallow test shakespeare cell phone addiction