Funny Motivational Speaker Linda Larsen presents...

Linda's Positively Speaking Blog

Rants & Raves by Funny Motivational Speaker Linda Larsen

Jan
2019

Erroneous Assumptions - the Stuff of High Drama

By Linda Larsen - Friday, January 11, 2019
Featured Image

Have you ever known, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that something happened a certain way, only to find out later that it didn't actually happen that way at all? Does the following story sound familiar?

Juliet assumed that Romeo would get the message that she was going to drink a potion that would make it appear as if she were dead - when she wasn't really. He didn't.

Later Romeo found her lifeless body in a tomb, saw the empty poison bottle lying next to her and assumed that she was dead. She wasn't.

Overwhelmed by the loss of his true love, Romeo then killed himself with a knife. Juliet woke up moments later and found him lying dead next to her. Stricken with grief - she then killed herself.

Oh, the tragedy of erroneous assumptions.

Unfortunately, incorrect assumptions are not simply reserved for literature. They are occurring around us all the time. And because of them, conflicts occur, relationships are strained and actions are taken that may actually create a problem that wasn't ever there!

Example: Jill walks by Mark. He says "hi" and she doesn't respond. He assumes, "What's her problem?" He treats her a little coldly the rest of the day. She notices this and wonders why he's being so standoffish.  She decides not to invite him to lunch with the rest of the team.  Reality: Someone a few feet away coughed at the exact moment he spoke and she didn't hear him.

Do you see the trap here? Do you see how an erroneous assumption actually created a problem? And why do we make such negative assumptions? For one thing, some studies suggest that the average person has about 40,000 thoughts per day and that about 80 to 90 percent of them are negative. Well, there's part of the problem right there.

Another contributing factor may be our tendency to take things so personally. Most of the time, it isn't about us! We are simply not the center of everybody else's world!

The bottom line is this: we don't have to make these negative assumptions. We can make different, more empowering, and much wiser choices when confronted with these types of situations.

We could simply ask for clarification.  Mark could have said, "Jill, I noticed this morning when I said 'hi' to you, you didn't respond. That's not like you. Is something wrong?" That could have cleared things up right there. And if there really was a problem, the door has now been opened for discussion.

Here's another idea. When something happens and you find yourself starting to assume the worst, try doing the following 3 things:

  1. Stop.
  2. Simply breathe.
  3. Ask yourself, "What other possible, logical, positive reason could there be for this to have happened?" Keep asking the question until you find a reason that would make sense.
  4. Behave as if that explanation were true.

When you do this, you'll notice there's no negative energy around the event. You feel good, you are more pleasant to be around, people like you, and life is just a little easier.

Let's keep all that high drama where it belongs: in books, on the big screen and in television soap operas.

Linda Larsen, Speaker Hall of FameĀ® Keynote speaker, author and former professional comedic actress, brings entertaining, content-rich, hilarious and riveting presentations to conferences world-wide. She is passionate about helping people realize their fullest potential in every area of their lives and live with what she calls, "Honker Happiness." Best-selling author of 12 Secrets to High Self-Esteem audio program, 5 video programs and the critically acclaimed book, True Power. She can be reached at http://www.lindalarsen.com and 941-927-4700


 

 

About the Author

Linda Larsen, CSP, CPAE is a Hall of Fame Speaker, professional actress, best-selling author and serious lover of doggies. Linda speaks at conferences and meetings around the world, helping people bring the very best version of themselves to life every day! To talk to Linda about how she can contribute to the success of your next event, call 941-927-4700. Or go to Book Linda Now!



Like this blog? Share it!



Recent Posts

Archive

Categories

Tag Cloud

PhotoShop public speaking horror stories goal setting achieving success successful dental practices bottom line improvement goal achievement mattress recommendation personality types happiness self-image speak up advertising iPhone4S what you name the thing expectations personal achievement criticism feeling good depression personal responsibility humor motivation raising happy children building rapport confidence fact checking facebook activity difficult patients Donald Trump changing habits Dr. Phil dr. john gottman remodel stress mans search for meaning Noah Racey's Pulse defensiveness success Asolo State Theater airline pilots husbands who don't listen parenting changing behaviors high self-esteem dental practice Hamilton clinical depression funny motivational speaker Linda Larsen healthcare gift ideas relationship building personal growth chronic back pain motivational speaker on customer service vision boards coping with anxiety listening skills fear of trump presidency customer service training Lenscrafters managing stress best bed for bad back Viktor Frankl speaking nightmares achievements Changing perspectives Meryl Runion how to deal with negative people bucket list trust in relationships gratitude change Kelly Swanson cell phone addiction attitude patient service understanding stonewalling laughter Shakespeare, thank-you notes how to listen joy communication model sleep truth encouragement Hillary Clinton actors how to have high self-esteem customer service Tim Richardson Conrad Hall humorous motivational speaker magic act latex mattress review happiness at work beauty political anxiety southern accent funny motivational speaker effective communication positive perspective habits stressful elections how to become a motivational speaker good night's sleep controlling your emotional state funny motivational speakers compassion multi-tasking truth in politics finding humor negative thinking acting difficult people Broadway Lin-Manuel Miranda aging shakespeare motivational speaker Linda Larsen Politifact motivational speaker success National Car Rental bipolar disorder overcoming adversity whiners communication skills friendships gender communication happy customers getting to yes handling fear motivational speakers motivational speaker Brad Montgomery election 2016 funny video attitudes contempt bad drivers complainers Dr. Brene Brown, The Wholehearted Parenting Manifesto losing weight linda larsen how to strengthen relationships mental illness motivational speaker on communication liking personal development how to happy the business of motivational speaker time management costumes marshmallow test gripers cheerleading listening reframing anxiety zig ziglar American Idol back relief power of a smile selling happiness positive attitude unhappy employees lying in politics nonverbal communication how to get what you want self talk proactive people Kay Frances holiday stress self confidence marriage Gary Marachek dental practice strategies panic attacks flying eyebrows building character stress management raving fans brain chemistry conflict management divorce statistics tension communication passion motivational speaker appreciation