Funny Motivational Speaker Linda Larsen presents...

Linda's Positively Speaking Blog

Rants & Raves by Funny Motivational Speaker Linda Larsen

Jan
2019

Erroneous Assumptions - the Stuff of High Drama

By Linda Larsen - Friday, January 11, 2019
Featured Image

Have you ever known, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that something happened a certain way, only to find out later that it didn't actually happen that way at all? Does the following story sound familiar?

Juliet assumed that Romeo would get the message that she was going to drink a potion that would make it appear as if she were dead - when she wasn't really. He didn't.

Later Romeo found her lifeless body in a tomb, saw the empty poison bottle lying next to her and assumed that she was dead. She wasn't.

Overwhelmed by the loss of his true love, Romeo then killed himself with a knife. Juliet woke up moments later and found him lying dead next to her. Stricken with grief - she then killed herself.

Oh, the tragedy of erroneous assumptions.

Unfortunately, incorrect assumptions are not simply reserved for literature. They are occurring around us all the time. And because of them, conflicts occur, relationships are strained and actions are taken that may actually create a problem that wasn't ever there!

Example: Jill walks by Mark. He says "hi" and she doesn't respond. He assumes, "What's her problem?" He treats her a little coldly the rest of the day. She notices this and wonders why he's being so standoffish.  She decides not to invite him to lunch with the rest of the team.  Reality: Someone a few feet away coughed at the exact moment he spoke and she didn't hear him.

Do you see the trap here? Do you see how an erroneous assumption actually created a problem? And why do we make such negative assumptions? For one thing, some studies suggest that the average person has about 40,000 thoughts per day and that about 80 to 90 percent of them are negative. Well, there's part of the problem right there.

Another contributing factor may be our tendency to take things so personally. Most of the time, it isn't about us! We are simply not the center of everybody else's world!

The bottom line is this: we don't have to make these negative assumptions. We can make different, more empowering, and much wiser choices when confronted with these types of situations.

We could simply ask for clarification.  Mark could have said, "Jill, I noticed this morning when I said 'hi' to you, you didn't respond. That's not like you. Is something wrong?" That could have cleared things up right there. And if there really was a problem, the door has now been opened for discussion.

Here's another idea. When something happens and you find yourself starting to assume the worst, try doing the following 3 things:

  1. Stop.
  2. Simply breathe.
  3. Ask yourself, "What other possible, logical, positive reason could there be for this to have happened?" Keep asking the question until you find a reason that would make sense.
  4. Behave as if that explanation were true.

When you do this, you'll notice there's no negative energy around the event. You feel good, you are more pleasant to be around, people like you, and life is just a little easier.

Let's keep all that high drama where it belongs: in books, on the big screen and in television soap operas.

Linda Larsen, Speaker Hall of FameĀ® Keynote speaker, author and former professional comedic actress, brings entertaining, content-rich, hilarious and riveting presentations to conferences world-wide. She is passionate about helping people realize their fullest potential in every area of their lives and live with what she calls, "Honker Happiness." Best-selling author of 12 Secrets to High Self-Esteem audio program, 5 video programs and the critically acclaimed book, True Power. She can be reached at http://www.lindalarsen.com and 941-927-4700


 

 

About the Author

Linda Larsen, CSP, CPAE is a Hall of Fame Speaker, professional actress, best-selling author and serious lover of doggies. Linda speaks at conferences and meetings around the world, helping people bring the very best version of themselves to life every day! To talk to Linda about how she can contribute to the success of your next event, call 941-927-4700. Or go to Book Linda Now!



Like this blog? Share it!



Recent Posts

Archive

Categories

Tag Cloud

brain chemistry airline pilots passion understanding compassion motivational speaker Brad Montgomery healthcare how to deal with negative people Lenscrafters humor fear of trump presidency funny motivational speakers humorous motivational speaker positive perspective how to listen whiners how to happy Gary Marachek funny motivational speaker liking communication self-image attitudes success truth in politics remodel stress how to become a motivational speaker PhotoShop motivation Broadway bucket list motivational speaker Christine Cashen Conrad Hall Asolo State Theater building character Dr. Phil controlling your emotional state panic attacks best bed for bad back bottom line improvement cheerleading Tim Gard happiness at work the business of motivational speaker Donald Trump getting to yes goal setting cell phone addiction facebook activity good night's sleep proactive people achievements handling fear back relief difficult patients personality types happiness achieving success negative thinking feeling good self confidence coping with anxiety listening skills marshmallow test expectations Changing perspectives bipolar disorder listening attitude stressful elections marriage managing stress gripers stress management self talk mattress recommendation chronic back pain Shakespeare, thank-you notes communication skills American Idol Noah Racey's Pulse beauty confidence actors personal achievement motivational speaker Linda Larsen communication model appreciation relationship building goal achievement overcoming adversity raising happy children magic act reframing Kelly Swanson lying in politics linda larsen effective communication vision boards speaking nightmares funny motivational speaker Linda Larsen motivational speaker success Tim Richardson zig ziglar election 2016 public speaking horror stories joy gratitude truth patient service personal growth Hillary Clinton motivational speaker on communication Hamilton divorce statistics positive attitude conflict management gift ideas aging dental practice dental practice strategies anxiety political anxiety Brian Walter Dr. Brene Brown, The Wholehearted Parenting Manifesto personal responsibility change costumes latex mattress review changing habits building rapport motivational speakers Colette Carlson mental illness complainers changing behaviors fact checking gender communication sleep multi-tasking tension customer service training losing weight Bill Stainton Politifact how to strengthen relationships flying eyebrows raving fans customer service iPhone4S power of a smile Viktor Frankl motivational speaker on customer service selling happiness parenting laughter friendships how to have high self-esteem encouragement trust in relationships nonverbal communication clinical depression funny video habits southern accent acting advertising finding humor shakespeare Lin-Manuel Miranda time management personal development successful dental practices mans search for meaning unhappy employees depression how to get what you want high self-esteem