Funny Motivational Speaker Linda Larsen presents...

Linda's Positively Speaking Blog

Rants & Raves by Funny Motivational Speaker Linda Larsen

Mar
2018

How Your Rules Could Be Causing A Problem

By Linda Larsen - Tuesday, March 13, 2018
Featured Image

As a motivational speaker who talks a lot about what makes people happy and successful, it is CRYSTAL clear to me exactly what needs to happen in order for the world to run smoothly:

YOU need to give HIM the benefit of the doubt.

That IDIOTdriving 45 mph in the fast lane, needs to move over!

THAT clerk needs to smile and at least ACT like he's happy I'm giving him my money.

SHE needs to shut up.

THEY need to include HER.

HE needs to lose that ridiculous '70's tie-dyed t-shirt.

MY HUSBAND should NOT eat that whole plate of french fries! (See attached photo)

And on and on and on.

We ALL have rules about the way the world SHOULD work. But here's the problem. We ALL have rules about the way the world should work -AND a whole lot of our rules don't match.

Enter: Conflict.

So, here's my new rule: After we have our initial thought about "that's wrong; he shouldn't do that; she shouldn't wear that, etc," we start training ourselves to 1) stop and 2) immediately think, "MY rule, NOT hers." 

"Whoa. She should NEVER have said THAT!" Stop. My rule, not hers.

"He SHOULD have let ME have the first choice." Stop. My rule, not his.

"Why in heaven's name did she use THAT horrible color paint!!!" Stop. My rule. Clearly not hers.

Now here's the deal. If the behavior that you are reacting to affects you directly, it is your perfect right to simply ask for a new behavior. But here's the cool part - when you have NOT assigned a wrong/bad/stupd/idiotic motive behind that action - you won't have some high emotional charge impacting your communication. You will have a neutral, relaxed, calm demeanor when you ask if they would simply do "x" instead of "y". And that will increase the odds you will get what you are asking for.

So if you want to be happy, have fabulous relationships, and enjoy tremendous success in all areas of your life, then you should practice this technique... Wait...

Stop. My rule. Not yours...

Linda Larsen, Humorous Motivational Speaker
Helping people bring their finest, best & happiest self to life!

About the Author

Linda Larsen, CSP, CPAE is a Hall of Fame Speaker, professional actress, best-selling author and serious lover of doggies. Linda speaks at conferences and meetings around the world, helping people bring the very best version of themselves to life every day! To talk to Linda about how she can contribute to the success of your next event, call 941-927-4700. Or go to Book Linda Now!



Like this blog? Share it!


Watch Linda in Action!

Recent Posts

Archive

Categories

Tag Cloud

personal development National Car Rental Gary Marachek cell phone addiction whiners feeling good costumes motivational speaker on communication good night's sleep customer service training Bill Stainton speak up how to get what you want iPhone4S controlling your emotional state self talk selling happiness change happiness at work beauty motivational speakers chronic back pain mental illness clinical depression Tim Richardson gratitude self-image Hillary Clinton motivational speaker success communication model motivation stonewalling lying in politics customer service nonverbal communication Conrad Hall public speaking horror stories Asolo State Theater motivational speaker on customer service happiness holiday stress difficult people criticism communication back relief Kelly Swanson self confidence passion habits mattress recommendation facebook activity dental practice Lin-Manuel Miranda panic attacks expectations relationship building liking building character Donald Trump mans search for meaning patient service Broadway bottom line improvement overcoming adversity unhappy employees Shakespeare, thank-you notes personal growth what you name the thing bill cosby motivational speaker Brad Montgomery fear of trump presidency how to listen political anxiety Colette Carlson funny motivational speakers flying eyebrows goal setting how to happy speaking nightmares Dr. Phil power of a smile losing weight finding humor Meryl Runion Hamilton managing stress how to have high self-esteem reframing complainers high self-esteem happy customers aging vision boards truth multi-tasking how to strengthen relationships changing habits stressful elections Noah Racey's Pulse Viktor Frankl goal achievement listening time management humorous motivational speaker how to deal with negative people Politifact encouragement parenting stress management actors PhotoShop gender communication positive perspective laughter zig ziglar linda larsen Changing perspectives achieving success divorce statistics building rapport positive attitude negative thinking motivational speaker Linda Larsen anxiety coping with anxiety compassion bipolar disorder depression success how to become a motivational speaker best bed for bad back latex mattress review funny video understanding bad drivers Lenscrafters funny motivational speaker contempt confidence gift ideas listening skills difficult patients airline pilots funny motivational speaker Linda Larsen advertising Tim Gard acting raving fans successful dental practices dental practice strategies raising happy children changing behaviors attitudes personality types trust in relationships tension truth in politics getting to yes handling fear joy personal achievement sleep proactive people effective communication healthcare motivational speaker Christine Cashen dr. john gottman American Idol Brian Walter humor achievements the business of motivational speaker cheerleading shakespeare personal responsibility brain chemistry conflict management remodel stress bucket list election 2016 gripers southern accent marriage fact checking appreciation marshmallow test Dr. Brene Brown, The Wholehearted Parenting Manifesto magic act friendships communication skills attitude husbands who don't listen defensiveness